Brrr

It's still fall but a lot colder than the last time I wrote here. I suppose it's normal but something feels a little surprising every week. Maybe it's the unpredictability of the weather, even from hour to hour. Usually layering is de rigeur, but now I have to also make sure to take my warm raincoat even when skies are sunny and the weather forecast is optimistically dry.

Dan's mom died peacefully almost 2 weeks ago. She had a stroke one evening, Dan put her to bed not sure what had happened to her. A few hours later, between him and his brother, John, they realized that's what must have happened. Her wishes were to stay home and not be subject to any type of life extension efforts. The family was instantly there, helping, toasting her, praying, cooking, playing cards and having fun. She always said she wanted everyone to have a party when she died, but they did one step better and partied with her on the way out.

In general, she was pretty much unresponsive, not eating or drinking, but we could tell that sometimes she was aware of who was around, what was on TV, and let us know what she thought of the election results. Hospice people taught the family how to keep her comfortable and one of the things was to keep her mouth moist with a little sponge on a stick. You dip it in water and gently rub it on the insides of her cheeks, etc. Well, one night, a bunch of siblings were sitting in a circle around her in her bed, having a glass of wine, toasting her many times, sometimes laughing and sometimes crying. Finally someone realized she probably would adore having a 'sponge of wine' so that's what they did. It's things like this that make me think she had the best sendoff I've ever heard of or even imagined. Even her doctor called a couple days later and told the family that she hopes that's how she goes when the time comes.

Dan has been staying back in town with me for the most part, but continues to spend long weekends at her house. At least until football season is over he says. The house now belongs to his sister, Anne, and she's happy to have him stay on until she decides what to do with it. I'll post some pictures of Dan in the lake, canoeing with Mt. Rainier in the background. (It's apparently not visible, but is larger than life behind those trees most days.) It's no wonder he loves it there.

Here are some pictures of Dan's mom, Wyn. The one of everyone lined up on a dock is at Dan's and my wedding party. Others are from her 90th birthday bash: her sitting on a stool, her teaching me to make her famous apple crisp. The fourth one is a while ago, but I love this picture of her with 3 of her grandsons, Sean, Michael, and Brian.