What is normal?

Normal is such a funny word. It absolutely means nothing but we use it so often. It seems to come up in my life where I've lost my balance, lost perspective, when I want to have normalcy. So I use some internal compass to point me in the direction of a comfortable and safe pillow. Sad to say, I now see how important it was to me to retreat to soft places, avoiding the hard facts and requirements of a well-represented life. Dan and I were a team, both of us intent on building an easy life. I see that now. Not sure that's very admirable. I remember a guy from New York who came to a party my parents had. He stood in the kitchen, arguing that New York was the ideal place to live. He was attending University of Hawaii but decried the life in Honolulu...we didn't have all-night deli's he said. So we had 2 normals...his was NY, mine was Honolulu. However, he also said something I never forgot...that it's important to always have something to fight against. for some reason he thought friction and conflict were more important than easy. So now I'm in this situation with Dan where he has a huge adjustment to make. It won't be easy. It's change. So Dan and I failed in our attempt to avoid change by creating a routine. It gave us a sense of security, but look at us now...all that ease and comfort is gone. I'm an optimist and believe that in time, we will feel safe and secure again, but I sure don't like the transition. It's like a rough sea that I have to cross with no help, no boat, and no oars. But silly me, I have an army of help...amazing people who show up when I need them, who have answers to questions I haven't even asked yet. Yet I feel so isolated....why? Why think about what normal means? I think it has to do with that knowledge that in one second your whole life can land in another universe.

We suddenly have only the unfamiliar to traverse. Yet that terrain becomes "normal" after a while. What happens to our brain, mind and body in those 2 states? When life is easy and comfy maybe we are wasting away. Maybe friction is truly the better goal than comfort. My proof is looking at Dan and me these last few weeks. We've created new and resilient personalities, we've learned so so much about how life is for a whole other group of people. People we would never have met in our safe little cocoon. Enough of that. Bernie...thanks for the encouragement to write. I am perfectly aware that writing clears my head, but I procrastinate. That's a whole other subject. Here's an update: Dan has 4 more radiation treatments and some more rehab. His right leg is getting frisky and the left leg is catching up! It's exciting to see. His discharge date has been changed to end of June. House modifications haven't begun but are at least in planning stage and in the hands of a very able contractor...what a huge relief.